I wanted to post this a few hours ago but somehow I managed to fall asleep with my son at eight o’clock and now I’m rushing to get it typed out before I go back to bed. It was a lovely cuddly nap though and who doesn’t enjoy a good nap?
Today I am happy enough to have been able to look after my mother on an important day for her. Obviously over the years my mother has done so much for me, including driving us to the hospital for the birth of our son and sitting nervously in the waiting room being in the dark while the rest of us knew exactly what was going on.
She kept me fed, clothed and warm throughout my childhood. She looked after me when I was sick or injured and drove me and my siblings around the city to our various after school activities. She did twice the job having to fill in for our father after he died as well and guided the four of us into lives as contributing members of society. There were smiles, tears, laughter, frustration and every emotion in between, but she’s never not been there for us no matter what happens.
Today I was able to look after Momma when she had a routine procedure and needed someone to drive her and keep an eye on her for a while afterwards. After everything my mother has done for me it was nothing for me to take a day off to help her out when she needed it. It felt good to be the one squeezing her hand for a change and telling her that everything would be okay and tending to her needs afterwards. And of course she is now absolutely fine and probably won’t let me look after her again for a long time.
Smiles and Sunshine
This morning I woke up to one of my favourite sounds, rain on the roof. There’s something so comforting about being snuggled up warm in bed while the rain pounds down outside. It’s even better when you don’t have to get up!
Yesterday I mentioned that I felt like this challenge was starting to have a positive effect on me due to my feeling happy just for the sake of it. Today I realized that I’ve unconsciously been making healthier choices the past few days, without really trying and despite being filled with a constant chocolate craving after dinner every night.
I did eat chocolate on Mothers Day, but other than that I’ve resisted the temptation since I was sick last week. Even a few times when Zombie has suggested we buy some. I’ve been putting more effort in with what I am eating on the daily as well.
I’m wondering if I had some type of mental block behind my inability to focus on my goals and giving in too easily to my cravings. If my increase in happiness and energy is anything to go by I’m hoping that this will be the start of something good in that regard.
Smiles and Sunshine
I think this challenge might be starting to have a positive impact on me. Today I was happy just because. I haven’t had a day like this for a while and I tell you what, I could get used to this feeling.
Today marks my first Mother’s Day. Growing up, Mother’s Day and Father’s Day weren’t occasions we celebrated by spending a bunch of money, instead we used to make breakfast in bed for our mother and let her have a lie in.
Zombie and I hadn’t really talked much about Mother’s and Father’s Days. He got a mention and a box of beer last year for his first Father’s Day but I wasn’t expecting anything for myself this year. Zombie had other ideas though and on his Bloke Folk Day last Friday (Zombie doesn’t work Fridays so him and Bubble have a boys day together) they spent some time picking out a gift for me which I thought was incredibly thoughtful.
Bubble decided to wake up at 4am this morning. Zombie decided it was because he was excited about Mother’s Day so once we had settled him down and the three of us were snuggled in bed together he decided it was time for me to open my present. A beautiful children’s book featuring a puppy who made a special card for his mother, an oil burner since as Zombie stated, I live with two stinky boys and of course a couple of blocks of chocolate. I felt very spoilt.
But of course it wasn’t just about me. My mother (Momma, as I decided to start calling her in high school) has recently been on a cruise and she’s been back for over a week but we’ve just been too busy to see each other. But we had to find time on Mother’s Day.
For the most part of my life I’ve appreciated Momma and all that she’s done for my siblings and I, but Since having my own son that appreciation has grown infinitely. Motherhood is a 24/7 job. Even when we’re asleep our dreams are often filled with motherly worries or joys. Even when we’re away from our children they’re on our minds. My son is only ten months old and I have an excellent support system between Zombie, Momma and some extended family and friends, but already I have no idea how Momma coped with four of us by herself after my father died. Especially during our teenage years.
Speaking of my father, today would be his 75th birthday. I’m sorry to say I’d forgotten the date this year until Momma reminded me. Luckily I don’t usually forget and I do think about him most days as you can find out here.
To all the mothers and mothers to be out there, happy Mother’s Day. I hope you all had a special day unique to your family.
Smiles and Sunshine
Something that has been difficult but also beneficial for me is being a working mum. I have a good job that I enjoy, but I don’t like how much I am away from Bubble and how much of his day I miss out on and at times this thought brings a tear to my eye. On the other hand having the routine of going to work every day has helped me with my post partum depression because it gets me out of bed.
Weekends are hard for me. I love being able to spend more time with my boys, but I really struggle to get out of bed, no matter how much I’ve slept. Obviously I get up to look after Bubble if needed although Zombie has been pretty good about looking after him, but I’ll often get back into bed after. Other times I’ll nap later in the day which can sometimes last a few hours.
I’m just so tired. Not, I didn’t sleep well last night tired, just physically and mentally drained. It’s a side effect of the way I’ve been treating my body lately with the poor diet (which is improving) and also it is very common in people suffering from depression to sleep excessively. That being said I often find myself the most alert just before bedtime which is also counterproductive.
There are plenty of things I like about the weekends though. I always achieve something housework wise which is an area of mine that needs assistance. Plus we try to make sure we get some decent family time together every weekend and don’t just sleep it away or rush round doing too many chores.
Today we found a bubble machine for a steal. We’ve been meaning to get one for a while, we thought it would be something Bubble would enjoy and weren’t wrong about that. The bubble machine pumps out hundreds of bubbles in quick succession and the wee mans face was captivated by them and of course trying to eat them.
I think the mixture may have been too thick because it didn’t take long for the machine to get quite soapy looking and we started getting massive mutant bubbles, some bigger than Bubble!
We spent $10 today on something that is going to bring us a lot of laughs and our wee family grows. It’s moments like these that I’m grateful for not sleeping the day away and happy that it’s given me a reason to fight this post partum depression and get my life back.
Smiles and Sunshine
Here’s to the weekend! I’m finally feeling better and now I get to spend two days with my boys.
While I’m grateful to have a good job that I enjoy, of course I always look forward to the weekends, not matter what is on the agenda. Whether it’s busy running round doing chores, out and about seeing the world and trying to catch up with people, or just chilling at home, two full days with my boys is definitely a favourite of mine.
We’ve been on a sorting out mission lately, getting rid of a whole lot of excess stuff that we just don’t need so this weekend will be more of the same.
Hope you all have a lovely weekend, no matter where you are or what you are doing.