One hundred days, one hundred posts, the majority of them more than one paragraph which I’m pretty proud of considering the challenge was started as a photo challenge.
I’ve enjoyed it, but I’ve also had the odd day where I felt like giving up. When I started a hundred days ago I had no idea if I could actually do it, since I havn’t been able to stick to anything this year, but here I am. I’m pleased I pushed through the days where it was a bit harder and I always felt better afterwards.
I feel like the challenge has helped me. I feel happier, I’ve found more motivation than I’ve had this whole year and both Zombie and I have noticed that our lives are just pretty good in general right now. Far from perfect of course, but I truly believe that small things that used to be able to bring my mood down and stress me out are a lot easier to deal with when I’m happier overall.
I feel like I have a good hold on my PPD at the moment and I’m doubting myself as a mother less. I’ve been taking my antidepressants daily since my month long slip up and I’ve been making more effort to attend my support group which I had started missing on the regular. I’m no longer letting Anxiety direct me to the worst case scenario every time I get a minor curve ball.
I needed to do this challenge. I started it on a whim, unsure if it would work, unsure if my followers would get bored of the change of direction of the blog for three whole months and terrified of failing. I didn’t have time for it and I’d set myself a pretty big target that roughly 70% of people fail on the first or only attempt.
And now, for the first time since I found out I was pregnant with my son I feel like I know where I am going with my blog. It’s been a little all over the place for over a year now, mostly due to pressure I was putting on myself to write posts when I was out of inspiration.
It’s been a hundred days of reflection on the good things that life has to offer if we just take the time to notice. I’d forgotten about a lot of it, Anxiety and Depression skewing my perception of the world making it difficult to be truly happy even during wonderful moments.
I’m glad that’s a thing of the past now. I’d like to say I’ll be more self aware and not let myself be sucked in so deep into Depression and Anxiety in the future, but unfortunately I can’t. I don’t know what the future holds nor how I will handle it.
For now, I am content with my life and motivated to keep it that way for as long as possible and excited for.a future I was almost dreading three months ago.
Smiles and Sunshine