Zombie and I don’t know the sex of our baby and we won’t until the day we are graced with his or her presence, hopefully in around about nine weeks time. This was my decision and something that I’ve always wanted to do since I was a child, dreaming of one day getting married and having eight children (that dream thankfully changed as I grew up). I really like the idea that after however long my labour lasts not only will I get to meet my baby, but also have the surprise of finding out if it’s a girl or boy. Zombie wanted to know and I was happy for him to find out, but he didn’t think he could keep a secret that big so he decided to stay in the dark with me which I thought was pretty cool of him. We have nicknamed the baby Asskicker until it’s born, after Judith from The Walking Dead which is a fitting nickname for us.
The simple fact that we don’t know the sex has brought about some interesting reactions from people. The majority of people like the fact that we don’t know what we are having, a lot of people claiming that it’s rare these days which makes it cool. There are people who are in awe that we don’t know and will freely admit that they couldn’t do it themselves (one person even described themselves as too much of a control freak not to know). There are people who are super excited that we don’t know (my mother and midwife included). People like to guess, there has been a Facebook poll amongst some of my friends, sometimes people just throw it out there and I even had someone tell me it was a boy because of the way I was walking (I had a sore foot so I’m not putting much stock in that guess!) Most people respect our decision to not find out, just as we respect anyone who decides they do want to find out the sex of their unborn babies.
And then there are the people who are pissed off that we don’t know. Some people get so fired up about it, you would think that we were doing it just to spite them, despite the fact that some of these people are strangers. These people will ask me if I know what I’m having only to give me a strange look (sometimes even a scowl) when I reply no. A common question I get asked is, ‘but how do you know what to buy?’ To which my response has become, ‘baby stuff…’ I’ve been called silly and misguided among other things for choosing not to know and I even almost ended up in an argument with a work mate over it, although I managed to keep it limited to a somewhat heated debate.
Zombie has been told that we can only buy white items as that is apparently the only gender neutral colour but as far as we are concerned colour isn’t gender specific. I told someone a while ago that if I have a son who on his seventh birthday wants a pink butterfly cake, he will get a pink butterfly cake. The person was horrified and told me that would make a boy turn gay. That’s probably the most ridiculous response I’ve had seeing as you can’t make a person gay and at the end of the day, if our child does turn out to be gay neither Zombie or myself would be bothered. It’s a non issue.
I’ve gotten into quite a few discussions about colours for babies recently and there are so many differing opinions on the subject. One person looked at me in disgust and told me that there was no way in hell they would dress their son in yellow which I found really interesting as I’d always thought the only colour people would really have an issue with on boys would have been pink. It’s all just stereotypes though. Babies can’t even see colours until around five months of age, by which time they’ve probably outgrown most of the clothes they had been wearing previously.
Yesterday Zombie and I went to a baby themed market, which was full of all sorts of baby related items and definitely opened my eyes to even more things that I am going to need. We also found an amazing stall selling baby and toddler clothes and toys for children of alternative parents. There were Zombie onesies, adorable stuffed toys with skulls for faces, little backpacks claiming the wearer to be the future of metal, so many amazing items that Zombie and I spent much of our time at the market rifling through this stall and chatting with the owner about how awesome everything was.
Zombie decided to buy Asskicker a cute little stuffed toy rabbit with a skull for a face and it just happened to be pink. We had already told the owner that we didn’t know what we were having, yet she didn’t even blink when we purchased a pink item for an unknown gendered baby, she just kept chatting to us about how much she loved the rabbit as well. We did end up in a discussion about the fact that it was pink and some people might have an issue with it if we have a boy, but as Zombie bluntly stated, ‘the baby won’t see a problem with it unless some judgemental twat living in the past tells him that pink is only for girls.’
I don’t understand why people get so annoyed at my decision to leave the sex of my baby a surprise, but I find it quite funny just how heated people get about it. So far, not one of these naysayers has managed to convince me that there is a genuine need to know the sex of my baby before it arrives. Zombie and I don’t have a preference, we don’t need a boy or a girl, we just want a healthy little baby which with how everything is progressing so far, is exactly what we have. Our child will grow up with toys and clothes of all colours and themes. There will be animals (there will be lots of giraffes as they are my favourite animal), zombie themes, music and sports themes, there will be trucks and dolls, Lego and Barbies, construction toys, pretend cooking toys, it doesn’t matter. As far as we are concerned gender does not define a childs personality or abilities and that’s the way it should be.
Smiles and Sunshine