Day Six: What am I Afraid of

Last day of the Easter holidays today. Back to work tomorrow and I must say it’s been really nice to have a break. I woke up this morning with a head cold. I thought I had hay fever last night, but when my tablets didn’t do anything I realized it was a cold. And then all day I’ve felt like I have man-flu. It’s been tough. But since I’ve been on my elimination diet I’ve had three colds now and the two previous only lasted a day so I’m hoping to feel amazing again tomorrow.

Today is day six of Love Live Simples 30 Day Blogging Challenge, with What am I Afraid of.

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Short answer to this? Everything.

Ok so I’m not afraid of the usual things, like spiders or heights, but I am afraid of strange things, like people going cross eyed or putting things near their eyes, as I mentioned on Day Two.

I’m afraid of confrontation. I think this is in part due to my anxiety. I tense up in these situations, get flustered, say stupid things just to end the conversation, and generally freak out about the prospect of and the actual confrontation. Lucky for me I don’t get into these situations very often.

I am somewhat afraid of the dark, due to my anxiety. But I think this is more of being in a vulnerable position (in bed asleep).

I am afraid of upsetting people. This comes from my anxiety and my need to be liked. I would rather put myself in a situation that I don’t want to be in than upset someone. This has gotten me into trouble in the past so I have been working on overcoming this.

I am afraid that one day there will be a zombie apocalypse. Some people have real plans for this, some people are excited about the prospect, but I just don’t want it. I love The Walking Dead and zombie movies, but I don’t want to live it. And yes I know this is an unrealistic fear.

I am afraid of falling. Not from a height, but in skating or sports. I don’t like getting hurt and this sometimes holds me back.

I am afraid of losing my eyesight and my hair. I am so grateful that neither of these things have happened, touch wood. I had an eye test recently and my vision and eyes are very healthy for my age, but occasionally my vision goes blurry and I freak out every time this happens, despite the fact that I had a comprehensive test come back positive late last year.

I am afraid of becoming terminally ill. I think this is a valid fear, but probably not something I should dwell on. It is because of this that I regularly donate to cancer and other similar research charities and volunteer time to collect also. I have lost family members to this and would do anything to have them back.

I am afraid of not having children and ending up alone and lonely in a nursing home when I’m older. Obviously this is not the only reason I want kids, but it’s a fear all the same. On the other hand I am afraid of raising children in the world in it’s current state.

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I am not afraid of looking silly. Looking stupid, yes, but silly, no.

I am not afraid of making mistakes. I think mistakes are important for growth.

I am not afraid of spiders, clowns, insects, dogs, heights, mess, being in a car crash, losing my job or losing my house. I know that some of these things are all possible but I believe that if it comes to it I will get through.

I think my fears are unusual, irrational and somewhat unfounded, but they are my fears and I do my best to overcome them. What are you afraid of?

Smiles and sunshine
Katie

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